It’s just a birthday, another day on the calendar, the same as any other.  But, there is a reason it has become a cliche.  We are rhythmic people, always search for meaning in the patterns, significance in the events, a way to mark seasons. Change. Growth.

Recently, the phrase “40 is the new 30” has been popping up a lot in social media.  People are living longer and, therefore, 40 isn’t such a pivotal age.  However, in my life, 40 is still 40.  In fact, 40 might be my 50.  My husband was 38 when he died.  My father was 48.  My mother was 58.  So, it’s easy to see why this birthday is causing me to reevaluate my own patterns and see if there are parts of my life that remain un-lived.

I’ve spent some time in the past few weeks examining not just my desires, but the very core of who I am and what I believe my life is meant to be.  Right now, I feel like I have more questions than I do answers, but those questions are generating excitement about the journey ahead.  Unwittingly, the first fruit of this examination has been a bit of a bucket list of sorts.  I’m sharing that list with you here and invite you to follow me on the journey as I endeavor to fulfill it.

I’d love to hear from any of you who want to join me in any of these.  My plan is to update my progress here.

Relationships

Become a more encouraging, less critical mom – If there’s one aspect of my parenting that I need to change, it’s this. My standard of excellence makes me an exceptional realtor but can really do a number on Iain’s self-worth. By incorporating a daily hourly reminder of his inherent value and the amazing qualities he possesses, I hope to balance out the perceived negative and give him a healthy, confident self-esteem. Be gone, shame.  

Develop a fuller relationship with God – There was a time when I knew God existed.   Then, I thought I’d made it all up. Then, I met Him. Then I accepted other people’s interpretation of Him and His word. Then, I wondered how to reconcile the God I met with the God people kept telling me about. Now, I’m going back to the basics and asking God to show me who He really is.

Send birthday cards to one person every week for a year – Small encouragements make big impacts. I want to be better at small encouragements.

Write a thank you card to someone from my youth – See above.

Deliver a meal to someone in need – See above and above.

Find a professional mentor – There are some amazing people out there, and I have a lot that I’d like to accomplish. I want to be proactive about finding someone in business who is using their talents to change the world, and then I want to learn from them.

Take Iain to 50 new restaurants – Iain is my favorite foodie. We have a great time dining together and this is one area where he’s always willing to try something new.   No screens allowed.

Send flowers to someone who’s having a bad day/week – I have amazing friends. They are great encouragers. I want to be less concerned about my to do list and more concerned with my friends. Flowers bring smiles.

Be open to falling in love again – Enough said.

Passion and Service and Work and Stewardship

Change the world – I know. It sounds really corny, but I’ve always been a dreamer. And, I’m uniquely gifted in turning ideas into reality. I’ve just never done it with one of my own “BIG” ideas. It will require me to reallocate some time and space, but it’s amongst the most personally important items on this list.

Volunteer regularly with Iain – Some people are born with hearts bent toward service, but most of us have to develop it through intentional interaction with others who need us.  

Start a movement for something I believe in – This does not have to be a BIG idea. It just has to be selfless and outwardly focused.

Have a conversation with a game changer – Does anyone know Mimi Silbert, Moses Zulu or Elon Musk? I’d like to have a chat.

Make 2 million dollars in real estate and give 1 million of it away – Yes, this is about being successful in my current occupation, but it’s more about fiscal temperance, simplicity, and generosity.

Develop and publish an app (as in a mobile device application) – Yep, I’ve got an app idea, and it’s a good one! Now, I just need to make it happen.

Build a passive income stream – This is the only way I can see to free up more time to change the world. That, or marry a wealthy man. I’m really fine with either option. 😉

Speak in front of a large crowd – This is about rediscovering the person of my youth. I used to do this all the time, and because I practiced it regularly, I became pretty decent at it. It’s a skill I value and the only way to get better at it is to do it.

Creativity

Write a Novel – It’s underway, but unfinished. My mom left one unfinished, and this is one area in which I don’t want to follow in her footsteps.

Write a book of poetry – You may never read it, but I’m still going to write it. I was never much for poetry until my husband, Dalton, was dying from cancer. Then, I discovered its power to quickly reach the deepest parts of our soul.

Design and build a piece of furniture – Oh my goodness! I have imagined countless pieces of sleek, beautiful, efficient furniture. Building furniture is my apocalyptic job plan, so I’d better learn to how do it.

Create a piece of art for my wall – If I paint it or draw it, I’ll probably have to hide it in my bedroom. I’m going for something a little different – a unique take on embroidery, perhaps, (ala Stephanie Clark) or a compelling photograph.

Take (another) ceramics class – Pottery has always fascinated me. I love how it combines beauty with functionality. I took a class in college and thoroughly enjoyed it. Why not do it again?

Create a beautiful, clean, elegant, and organized home – Maybe this list isn’t the right place for this, but I’d really like to accomplish this soon. It helps create the space where the rest of the items on this list can be executed.

Health

Complete a sprint distance triathlon with a rough water ocean swim – This is about my health and also getting over my fear of sharks. Getting in shape and overcoming your fears at the same time seems like a good plan. Have I mentioned that I’m terrified of bicycling downhill, too?

Complete an Olympic distance triathlon – I’m a little goal oriented. The first time I participated in a triathlon (just a little supersprint), I totally slacked off once I’d finished it. This time, I’m prepared.

Eat more vegetables – Duh. But, really, in order to do this, I’m going to have to find some tasty recipes. I love food too much.

Achieve my ideal body weight OR a body fat % of 25% – I’m not really sure what I’m aiming for here, but I think I’ll know it when I’m there. This is probably the single biggest thing I can do to increase my odds of living into my 4^th score.

Try vegetarianism for 21 days – Because, why not? And, because ecologically speaking, it seems to be a far superior, more efficient choice. Accepting all recipes. Please?

Hold a plank for 1 minute – Core muscles, unite!

Fun and Adventure

Learn to sail – I can’t explain it, but I’ve ALWAYS wanted to do it. Iain is excited to learn as well, so this may be one of the first things we check off the list.

Teach Iain to ski – I love skiing. Iain is afraid of heights.

Go skydiving – There’s a great picture of my mom in her 20’s, loaded up with here parachute, preparing to jump out of a plane. I want one just like it, and I want to feel what it’s like to fall as fast as you can and then float back to the earth.

Ride a mechanical bull – There’s this side of me – the wild and crazy side – that has been neatly pack up and shoved inside a box of self-loathing for years. I’d like to let it out…for a ride.

Go white water rafting – Looks. Like. So. Much. Fun.

Dye my hair red – I love my hair. Dare I say it’s my best physical feature? Therefore, I’ve always been afraid to mess with it. But, I’ve always wanted to try being a redhead. Think Christina Hendricks in Madmen. Yep.

Go square dancing – It’s a thing again. I remember watching an episode of Nurse Jackie where Frank takes her to a kind of underground square dancing club full of hipsters and thinking, “I want to do that.” There’s one here in Highland Park on the third Saturday of the month, and I’m going. Soon.

Learn to swing dance – This feels a lot more ambitious than the square dancing, but my Mom took it up in her 40’s, and she loved it. I want to give it a shot.

Swim with dolphins – I think dolphins are amazing. I’d like to swim with them.

Sing karaoke sober – This is especially ambitious because I don’t even like to sing karaoke drunk. Conquering my fears.

Go zip lining – I’m not scared of this. I just really want to try it.

Go hang gliding – I’m a little scared of this. But, I still really want to try it.

Travel and Culture

Find a travel partner – If Iain is interested, I’m taking him. At the moment, though, he’s in an “I’m not very adventurous and I don’t love traveling.” stage. Come to think of it, he’s always been in an “I’m not very adventurous and I don’t love traveling.” stage. That’s ok. He’s not me, and I’m glad he knows what he likes. Unfortunately, I don’t love traveling alone, and there’s a lot I want to see. So, one of my first tasks is to find a good traveling partner. Applications being accepted.

See a baseball game at Wrigley field – I love baseball. I love Chicago. Actually, my bucket list should include visiting every major league stadium in America, but I’ll start with this one.

Eat Fugu in Japan during the 2020 Olympics – Iain says I can’t eat the Fugu, but I figure if we both eat it then what does it matter? If Iain doesn’t accompany me, then I’ll skip it.

Walk through the Parthenon in Athens, Greece – So much influence from one place.

Go on an African safari – I don’t care if it’s clichéd and shows up on every travel bucket list. It’s on mine, too.

See the Northern Lights – Alaska, Greenland, Canada, Iceland, Denmark, Russia. Any one of them will do.

Visit an active Volcano – The last time I went to Hawaii, was 9 years old. That is way too many years ago.

Swim in the Great Barrier Reef – From what I’ve read, it’s so beautiful, that you’ll even forget your fear of sharks.

Visit Iguazu Falls – Have you seen it? They say Niagara Falls can’t even come close.

Welcome to The Third Score.